20. ~SOUNDINGS~: PART 4 – The Interventions 20th Essay – An Inspired Life

by Frank L. Jordan III

20. An Inspired Life

Photo courtesy of Aschroet


An Inspired Life

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Once devotion to Jesus has been cultivated,

     once real and true contact

          with God the Source has been made,

          one must embark on a new way of life,

               to remain true to the relationship

               that has been established

                    between oneself and God—through Jesus.

This is not easy, often far from it,

     for many of the ways of modern society

          are not the ways of God, of Jesus.

And sometimes this newly found life of Jesus

     emerges within a person when they are entangled

          in a web of worldly relationships,

          modern-day institutions,

               and demanding work.


If a person doesn’t have adequate support from life—

     like a nurturing church, supportive family,

          or fulfilling occupation—

          then the realities of everyday existence can consume

               this new fragile life of God

               that is emerging within a person,

                    this fresh joy that wants to gain a foothold

                    in a person’s life.


Believe me, I speak from experience.


I did have a supportive family,

     and I did have a nurturing church,

          but my occupation,

          which I needed to support my wife and children,

               was not fulfilling, did not nurture

               this new and fragile life of Christ

                    that had erupted into my life.

And my marriage,

     which at times was a source of nurturance,

          also caused me much desperation.


So I know what it is to lose.

I know what it is to feel the glory and power

     of Jesus for a time,

          and then to lose all feeling in the midst of crisis,

          of trauma that is unrelenting—

               the past, present, and future trauma

               that plays on a sensitive mind and soul,

                    until that soul is broken.


But I remember …

     I remember the joy of holding newborns,

          the breathing of a strong lover,

          the soul-shattering experience of conversion,

               when I realized that I would never be the father

               I had always wanted to be,

                    and that my children would be hurt by that.


Then I was flooded,

     flooded with love and joy,

          a love and joy that was with me

          for over ten years,

               before it was swallowed up

               in the cares of the world.


But I remember,

     so I write from memory.


An inspired life is this—

     to live and work in a God-filled community,

          to share what you have with your neighbors,

          to seek peace, to work for social justice,

               to love God with your whole self,

               to spread the news about Jesus, in word and deed,

                    to not blame God, not blame Jesus

                    when tragedy occurs,

                         because you understand that God is offering

                         everything in his, in her power, through Jesus,

                         but that this offering

                              is in constant contention,

                              in constant struggle

                              with the natural universe,

                                   a universe that derives from Pure Love,

                                   is an unfolding manifestation of God.


This belief system is Christian derivism,

     and it can be a steadfast friend

          to anyone embarking on the exalted way.


This exalted way is a path

     that I may never be able to walk again,

          as I cry out from these emotional depths.


It is a way that I can only point to,

     from the memory of where I once stood before …

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